Sanchali Barua
Trigger Warning: Mentions of conversion therapy
We have all heard brutal conversion therapy stories, but unfortunately there are many who have actually gone through this nightmare and their experiences remain unheard. Even after being recognised as an immoral and unscientific practice by several medical bodies, it is still carried out covertly in several worldwide locations.
In 2021, Netflix released a documentary titled "Pray Away", directed by Kristine Stolakis. It portrays the inception, growth, and fall of Exodus International, one of the biggest and most influential international organisations that carried out conversion therapy. Exodus International was a non-profit, Christian organisation that connected other such institutions with itself and sought to help those people who wished to “limit” their homosexual desires. It was founded in 1976 in the United States with the aim of spreading the message that reorientation of same-sex attraction was possible. By the early 2000s, it had grown to such prominence that it had established its ministries in 17 other countries. Stolakis, in her documentary, lets us follow the journey of this organization through the eyes of those who were the driving force of this phenomenon.
In the documentary, five former leaders are interviewed, who also served as spokespeople for the Exodus movement. Through their narratives, we are shown how faith and religion were exploited to make people believe that homosexuality was a sin in god’s eyes. In the guise of this idea, the organisation popularised its “ex-gay” program and tried to construe a myth that homosexuality was a sinful lifestyle that a person had willfully adopted by going against god. They tried to popularise the belief that heterosexuality was the only right way of living and loving god.
Michael Bussee, one of the former leaders and co-founder of Exodus, shed light on its formation. It was formed as several small religious groups with a similar agenda came forward to join hands and spread their common message. It is further shown how, due to lack of knowledge and sensitivity, the AIDS crisis of 1990 only fueled their agenda. The media and popular notions depicted “homosexual promiscuity” as “a violation of God’s law”, citing that this was the leading cause of AIDS in many people. People were led to believe that being queer was “a crime, a sickness” as such propaganda was repeatedly displayed on the TV and in the newspapers. People who were discovered to be gay were subject to mistreatment and ostracism. The situation became even worse when homosexuality was criminalised in many parts of the world.
At a time like this, Exodus tried to push forward their “ex-gay” programmes as an apparent solution to people. The feelings of hatred and discrimination against the queer community pushed several queer people to join these programmes out of desperation to be treated as 'normal' in society. The people who came to these programmes already suffered from ‘panic attacks’ and ‘deep depression’, according to Exodus officials. But these therapy programmes blamed childhood trauma as the cause of their ‘homosexual behavior’. Bussee goes onto mention that most of the people conducting these therapies didn't have any kind of formal education in psychology, counselling, or human sexuality. He adds that “they had no qualifications to do what they were doing.” They used Bible teachings and group activities as the basis for the therapy sessions.
Many were aware of the wrongdoings being carried out by this organization but actively chose to not act for various reasons. Several people who came to these programmes “committed suicide as they felt they couldn’t change” and some were forced to pretend that the programme had worked and now they were straight. The most shocking aspect of the documentary was that these ex-leaders claimed that they too pretended back then that they had been able to “change” themselves to become straight from being gay. They confessed that they couldn’t pretend like this forever and how sorry they were to have lied and hurt so many people.
The essential purpose of this documentary is to understand what propelled these people and many more to become a part of such organizations. Viewers are shown that they were also victims of their generation and ideology. But this in no way relieves them of the wrongs they have committed. Before the documentary ends, victims of Exodus are talking to these ex-leaders and conveying how much pain they had to endure because of them. The survivors told them how they were responsible for killing so many people and destroying so many lives. One survivor stated, "I feel I lost my soul in trying to do the right thing all the time." The ex-leaders accepted that these stories of deep pain made them realise that Exodus was a lie.
As the documentary concludes, we are shown how Exodus International closed down in 2013, about 37 years after its inception, as its executives accepted responsibility for their crimes before the public. The last president of Exodus International, Alan Chambers, renounced conversion therapy before thousands of people. He was quoted saying: "I am sorry for the pain and hurt many of you have experienced. I am sorry we promoted sexual orientation change efforts and reparative theories about sexual orientation… ." It was sad, however, to see that the closure of Exodus International as an umbrella organisation had no direct impact on the institutions that worked under it. Many of them have joined together to form new networks, such as the "Restored Hope Network" while others continue to operate independently.
Watching this documentary makes the audience appreciate that we have come a long way from the dark times of Exodus International. However, homophobia against the LGBTQ+ community still impairs our society, and queer people are deprived of basic freedoms. Laws against conversion therapy have been passed in several countries. In 2018, The Supreme Court of India passed the landmark judgement of decriminalizing homosexuality. It assessed and re-interpreted the definition of mental illness under Section 2(s) of Mental Health Act, 2017, and also took into account the international norms and accepted medical standards to remove homosexuality from the scope of mental illness. However, such laws only focus on prohibiting licensed mental health practitioners from practicing harmful conversion "therapy" practices, but ignore this practice among religious providers. Also, it is quite unsatisfactory to know that doctors found guilty of performing conversion therapy are not charged with criminal liability but with civil liability, which only mentions monetary compensation.
Homophobic attitudes have been institutionalised in nearly every aspect of our social structure, from the government and military and even our educational systems. However, there has also been a positive shift in how we view things in modern-day. 'Human sexuality' is no longer viewed under outdated assumptions and classifications. With the newer generation openly embracing the term "queer" to identify themselves, it has made us realize that the concept of sexual orientation is much more complex and fluid than what was previously believed. Even the older generation is gradually becoming sensitised about LGBTQ+ identities, as parents are more open and accepting about their children's sexualities. We can only hope that this change continues to be propelled and we can create a safe and progressive world for everyone.
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